Our road... part 1

I have started to write this a million times.  I finally did it. A friend said I could should write a book.  This isn't a book, but it is a bit lengthy, so I broke it up into 3 parts.  This is more for me than for anyone else, but if you feel ever so inclined, read on.


  
The bald guy and the nice lady. That's what we called ourselves. To protect our hearts I guess. But it only lasted for a little while. I suppose looking back it even sounds a bit creepy. And only if you knew us well, you would understand why we choose those names.

               The background

My husband Anthony and I have been trying to have kids for four years.  I say four years but I guess it's three years because a year ago I decided we decided that there had to be an easier route.

Anthony and I were married at the ripe age of 22, right out of college. Three years after we were married we decided the next logical step would be to have kids.  We had seen plenty of our friends follow that path.  It only made sense to my type A personality.  Everything went in a reasonable and sequential order.  I think this is where my mistake learning began.  I am a self diagnosed, type A, OCD, control freak.  I will freely admit that to you.  After a frustrating year of trying with no results we sought help, in the form of doctors, specialists, I had surgery, and multiple procedures.  We dealt with it in stride, although there were definite ups and downs.  There were lots of tears, and some of laughs too throughout the crazy ordeal.  We cried when we found out procedures didn’t work.  We laughed to know that a driver will come to your front door to pick up your “bodily fluids”.  Through it all I learned to lean more on God and Anthony.  I have learned over these years to release control.  I have recognized that my plan may not always be the best plan.  I think God allows you to walk through deserts in your life, in order to have some sort of realization or understanding, to draw you closer to Him.  Mine was simple.  I do not need to be in control, I can’t control everything; I am not the best person for that job.