A lesson of motherhood

Today I fully caught the summer bug that Chancey had/has... or is it allergies.  Who would have thought I would have caught it... I thought he was teething (he has 4 coming in now.  EEK)... thus you can't catch teething. I thought I was safe.  It hasn't been awful but what has been struggle is Anthony had to work and Chance was a crazy, wild man.  Literally, I would turn my head and he'd be behind me... I'd lose track of him because I was in such a sinus fog.  It was definitely like the commercial where your head is like a balloon.   Don't worry, we made it through the morning,  and after nap I decided the dizzy feeling had subsided enough to get out.  I strapped Little Man in and we headed to what I desperately needed first- Starbucks.  I was starting to feel better on the drive over to our next stop- the bookstore.  Coffee and books= good for the soul!  I was still moving a bit slower than normal as I got the stroller out and put Chance in.  I put the stroller brake on and reached back in the car to grab a tissue for his running nose.  When I turned back around the stroller (and Chance) were in the middle of the parking lot- a few feet away.  Awesome.  I felt like such a ding dong.  I turned red and blotchy as I quickly grabbed the stroller and mentally scolded myself for not making sure the brake was on well.  I wiped his nose  and headed into the bookstore.  Again I continued to scold myself... "mother of the year", "so glad no one saw"... I must have looked flustered as I got to the doors because a gentleman helped me with the door.  I took a deep breath and was just started to settle myself when the gentleman then felt the need to say "Almost got away from you, huh?"  There it was.  Someone had noticed. I was starting to not feel so good again, and began to wonder if he thought I was an awful mom, or just having a bad day. I hoped for the latter, but really all I wanted to do was break down and tell him about my day.  Maybe the fact that I wasn't feeling well played a roll, but the way he said it just rubbed me the wrong way.  I realize this was such a small moment, Little Man wasn't hurt, it didn't make me a bad mom.  But it goes to the point.  The point I want to get to; Why is it that once we become moms we get this crazy guilt and incessant need to do EVERYTHING right?  I am slowly learning the lessons that motherhood teaches.  It's a work in progress, but in the end I'm pretty sure, even when the stroller rolls away from me I'll have an amazing kid. I won't be the perfect mom, I will most definitely make mistakes. One day I'll look back and laugh.  For now, I'm enjoying every minute of this journey.